Having a daughter with Down’s syndrome inspired Helena to become a Shared Lives carer. Fostering adults was the lightbulb moment she needed to feel reassured that there’s a place for adults with support needs to live their most independent life – because everyone deserves a family.
By Helena, Shared Lives carer in Lincolnshire
When my cafe closed during the pandemic, I found myself at a crossroads. Sitting in my home in rural Lincolnshire with an acre of land and plenty of time to think, I realised how lucky I was, and how much I wanted to give back. That’s when I decided to become a Shared Lives carer, and it’s the best decision I’ve ever made. Shared Lives is a little bit like fostering but the big difference is that its for adults who need a bit of extra support to love their most independent life.
For me, this journey was personal.
My daughter, Megan, has Down’s syndrome, and from the day she was born, I’ve always worried about her future. I’ve seen so many places that didn’t feel right for her, and I knew I wanted her to grow up in a family, not in residential care. Everyone deserves to be loved and to feel like they belong, no matter their challenges.
Shared Lives felt like the perfect fit for me. Fostering children wasn’t for me, but I did want to help adults who’d missed out on so much. That’s when Victoria came into our lives. She’s 44 and has Down’s syndrome, and when she first arrived, it was meant to be a short respite stay during the pandemic. But I quickly realised I couldn’t let her go – she needed a family, and we needed her. Now, I call her my third child and Victoria and Megan love each other to bits. I’m sure a lot of fostering parents can relate to that feeling.
Fostering isn't limited to one person
I love supporting Victoria so much that I decided I wanted to support more people on emergencies and short-term stays. I converted my downstairs dining room into a spare bedroom. I’ll never forget the night someone arrived one evening. It was as simple as saying, ‘Come on in, here’s the kitchen, and I’ll see you in the morning.’ Knowing my front door is always open for someone in need makes it all worth it.
Of course, anything worth doing doesn’t always come easy. Victoria came to me with no support network, and some big challenges. But with time, love, and patience, she’s absolutely flourished. She’s lost weight, become part of our village community, and even gained some independence. Every Friday, she heads off to bowling on her own, and she’s become known for her wicked sense of humor.
I can help give people a voice
Shared Lives has taught me so much. I’ve learned to be a voice for people like Victoria, who need someone in their corner 24/7. It’s hard work, but the rewards make it all worthwhile. I’ll never forget the first time Victoria told me she loved me – moments like that are priceless.
If you’re thinking about becoming a Shared Lives carer, my advice is simple: just do it. You’ll make the space, you’ll find the time, and you’ll change someone’s life – and your own. It’s not about the money. It’s about the love, the connection, and knowing you’re giving someone the life they deserve.
For me, Shared Lives isn’t just a job, it’s a way of life. It’s about building a family, and I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Ready to find out more about fostering and adult?
If you’re intrigued, take that first step and find out more about being a Shared Lives carer.
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